who am I?

I have become myself through the instrumentality of the links between me and others

The interaction with people and the flow of time change the shape of my mind.

Those bonds have formed me so far. The thing known as myself and that person will form me from now on but there is someone else who which is the true me.

I don’t know myself

Because I don’t want to see myself that I’m running way.

Because of fear i might have a human shape

Because the present me, I might be disappear.

One is afraid that the self will disappear.

Ive never understand myself

for i keep on blaming myself for whats happning all around me

its like there's something avoiding me

its always there,

empty and i feel like im made frm a straw

I remember being afraid of it

i wonder when i started the drifting

its like m mind and body have come apart little by little

when ever something sad or painful happens,

its like there's another me who watches it,

as if it's happening to someone else thinking tat 's not me

Ill lock my heart away deeper

i wouldnt have to feel the pain outside or inside or the fear of being alone ,

i wouldnt hve to feel anyting at all

there i will be safe,untouch and undisturb

The good old days

Today the weather was OK.
I can see the sunrise through my window as I woke up this morning.
I had a hard time going to sleep these days because my exams are getting closer as each day passes by.
My exams will be on the 11, 12, 19 and finally 20.

On the 22 i will be going to KL paying a visit to my siblings during this semester break.
its been awhile since i have last seen them especially my brother.

Oh my god the last time Ive seen my brother was in 2006 (amazing how time flies)
I really cant wait in seeing their faces and being surrounded with the family aura.

I have been feeling nostalgic lately especially my school life back in Brunei.
I really enjoyed it especially wearing school uniform, hanging out and making a fool of ourselves after class.

I wonder how they are doing now? hopefully their doing well right now.
After the "A" levels, everyone went to their separate ways including myself.
well thats life and i do still keep in touch with them.

I have been thinking lately about wearing my school uniform next semester (may be)
or for special events (hehe)



A video of us having fun after class. (hahahahha we were bored)
here some pictures of me during A level years in Brunei.

---->Fire in the hole!!!! ( Im the one wearing the helmet












--> damn i look smart. (muahaha)














---> eventhough you are a respectful person in school sometimes you still get disrespect from other.











--> sleeping during chemistry class. That was Azrul's leg.hahahaha.












--->behind the school library where i like to spend my time after class.

*Yawn*

It rained the whole day today and it was hard for me to wake from my deep slumber.
it felt like i was being glued to my bed.

It was a pleasant dream especially when I dreamt about "HER".
It felt like as if I'm the protagonist from a romantic Korean movie just like the one from "A moment to remember"( refer to the picture below)
or may be "Winter sonata" ---> oh so sentimental~la
Everything was ok then, until Nazmi (my housemate) had to pull me back to boring reality.




















heizzzzzzz! Geram nya akuu!

however it was good of him to wake me up, for we had to go to the city for the 1st BSS (20008/9) official meeting. it felt nice seeing some new fresh faces.

After the meeting we headed to Alan's music shop. played the Grand piano which sounds totally different (better actually) when compared to my own back home.

yea~
We checked out the electronic drum and found out that it was interesting.
Farhan played like a wannabe drummer (parasan bnr,ahahahha).

back home Farhan, Nazmi and myself decided to chip in to buy our own drum set.
we found one from ebay which cost around $300 (a2 mahal eh) which looks like this :
















not too bad for a beginner....but i wish it was the electronic drum which would rather be convenient since there wouldn't be anymore spaces left in the house for this huge thing.